“Comparison is the thief of joy.” I recently posted this Theodore Roosevelt quote on our private Facebook group (Boudoir by Decoro – feel free to join if you haven’t yet!), and I think it resonates with a lot of people.
We have all experienced jealousy when we see one of our friends and peers achieving something cool. We go through a number of emotions: first we are surprised and pleased for her; then a sick feeling washes over us and we feel annoyed; then we try to make reasonable excuses for why we haven’t done what she has; then we scold ourselves for being a jealous jerk and we try to make a good show of being happy for her. From that point, whenever we think about the things we love to do and are excited about, our joy is tainted by the nagging thought that we just aren’t ever going to be as good as her, so what’s the point?
Is any of that familiar to you? It is to me. But, it doesn’t have to be like that! There is a way to stop comparing yourself and reclaim your joy.
As you know, my husband, Kevan, and I are the Decoro team. Lots of people wonder how we can do this work together – and more specifically how I can be ok with my husband creating sexy images of other women. Don’t I feel insecure?
The answer to that is pretty simple: When we are shooting boudoir, we are working together to achieve 2 particular goals:
- To create beautiful, strong images of our clients; and
- To help our clients feel valued, comfortable, and empowered.
When we focus on these two things, our own needs and lives are not the focus – the value of our client is the focus. There is no room in that for personal comparison or insecurity. It really is as simple as that – we make a choice.
So, how do you stop comparing yourself and reclaim your joy? Create a mental space in which you choose to be grateful for the beautiful things in your life, and in which you refuse to allow comparison. It is very simple – but also very difficult. It takes practice and discipline, but it can be achieved. At least, I think it can – I am still practicing.
Here are some images from a recent shoot that we were able to do in some absolutely magical light. The bugs were horrific, though, so thanks to M for suffering for art!
Summer is short around here, so now’s the time to book your outdoor boudoir session!