Two lives become one

We all know that getting married is a big deal; in fact, it’s the single most life-changing decision you’ll ever make. From the moment you become husband and wife, your two separate lives become one life. You understand, in theory, that this means making financial decisions together, sharing a living space, sharing a bed, raising children, planning vacations, planning retirement, etc. As these things become less theoretical, the promises you made on that surreal day become deeply meaningful.

Kevan and I experienced some of the reality of being inextricably connected this year when I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease strongly correlated with cancer. As I went through a variety of tests to find out if I was dealing with cancer in addition to my other condition, I felt overwhelmed by the idea that my ordeal was also my husband’s ordeal. In moments, I felt guilty that I was dragging him through this frightening and inconvenient experience.

However, our almost 15 years of marriage meant that there was no “my ordeal” and “his ordeal”. As Kevan reminded me many times, this was OUR challenge to face. There were not two lives but one life. Which was, of course, what we had promised back when we had no idea what this promise would mean. It was so humbling, encouraging, and comforting.

I believe in marriage. I believe in love expressed through an active choice and commitment. It takes courage to make a decision like marriage, and in my experience, anything that takes courage is usually worth doing – and worth celebrating.

The beautiful woman in these photos is getting married very soon. We want to wish her and her husband-to-be a life full of rich experiences, deep loyalty, and the joy that follows.

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